A dilemma

Sure I'm used to all the replacements, but I don't like it. It hurts.

That feeling when you aren't even sure yourself, if you should do it or not, go for it or not. When you wanna do something but overthink, scare yourself, and end up doing what you dislike. Yeah, I hate that feeling.

I think I'm expecting too much from people. I feel myself building walls around my heart again, I find myself closing up. I find myself wanting to stop confiding in people. I find myself living in self-denial. I think I'm over it, but I'm not. I really hate talking to people about myself these days, it makes me feel an ultimate vulnerability in me. And I don't like that.

I don't like people knowing my weak sides. I don't like people using my weaknesses against me.
And I don't like guys trying to get me, at my weakest.

Of course I know that if I want to, I have people I can talk to. But I don't want, Idky but I just don't want. I guess the only human that I want, to know my problems, is Jerald. But sometimes he just doesn't seem to care as much, as I do for him.

Anyway I wanna go to Gardens by the Bay. ;)