Feelings like rojak

I think what's going on in my life these days leave me with a lot of mixed feelings. 

Well I guess it's part of growing stronger. It's better than being numb. At least I know I'm feeling something, at least I know I'm dealing with something I can handle even though it may be hard, cause well God promised He'll take care of me through my testings. While sharpening me, the pencil lead may get stuck sometimes. But someone'll get it out and I'm sure that someone will be God!! Hehe. And at the end of the day the pencil is sharp and let's just say it'll be brand new-looking. :)

And I've made up my mind, gonna believe in friendship again. Just again and again till I get it right. Till I can prove myself that I'm not a loser for friendship. Happy because when I made this decision and talked to God, He blessed me with time spent with Meiyi and Calissa and a monthsary with Emileen, 30th's, in a classroom, during an oral practice. Starting to really love time spent with Meiyi because even though we don't open up to each other much, I think we can really get HIGH together. Love that woman. :) Love Emileen for knowing every little thing I feel. Love Calissa for hanging on tightly onto the friendship. 

Of course I have a lot of others to thank for who I am today like Wenqi, Joanne, Vina and all but yep. :) 

I'm starting to be careful of the way I talk, text and all. Cause I know sometimes, my words can really sting & I don't wish to unknowingly hurt anyone with my words. Because I know how it feels to have people you love talk to you like you owe them for a living, because I know how it feels like to have your intentions misinterpreted, because I know how it feels to have a tensed up conversation, yet struggle to make things right again, because I know how it feels like to hear words that kill you inside out yet you have to swallow your tears, just to prove you're strong enough. But sometimes you don't succeed in that.

Brought my brother out today to fellowship with Northeast and I'm glad he had fun. It suddenly struck me today that I don't really cherish my brother. He's actually really cute (LOL) and he worries a lot. Be it for me or the family or whatever and he's.. eleven. And it struck me how little I show care for him. Time to be a better sister Lixuan.

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^The above is not for humans to read.